Don't Call Me Queen

Thesis: We are crafting a new ideal of what a black woman should be and creating another layer of oppression.

When I first went natural I enjoyed being called Queen by random black men. Like many (or at least a few) women, I enjoyed the shift in perspective. I thought "they are taking me seriously" and other similar noise.

Soon tho this superficial delight turned sour. This is some confused politics of respectability nonsense. Why should I accept that one hair style commands for respect than others? Confronting privilege when you are the benefactor is hard. I think I could have stayed silent on this issues because we are beginning to do this to each other. Don't believe me, consider this.

A naked black woman showing [the stretch marks on her ass]: Queen

A naked black woman showing her ass in video girl fashion: Not a Queen maybe a THOT

Don't believe me, scroll Instagram

It seems to me that Queens only have natural hair. Amazing black women with a weave or straight need only use #blackgirlmagic. I have a few issues with is:

1. The way a woman wears her hair is a personal (often temporary) decision. Unless expressly detailed by the black woman under said hair no narratives should be ascribed to the decision.

2. Point One sounds great but as women we learn early that it is not just hair. It does have meaning, it does carry messages, political affiliations, possible career limitations. Adding sexual condemnations is just cruel. The trend is that natural women are more conscious of their sexuality and express it in a way that empowers them and other. A woman with a weave or straight hair can do the same thing. Assuming a woman has a healthy self/sexual perspective because of her hair decision is some bullshit. Building a culture around it is dangerous.

3. All black women need a sensual body acceptance/ sexual liberation. One of the most interesting and wonderful part about this focus on "Queens" has been the emergence of mainstream sensual/sexual acceptance. Black Sex is rarely represented or celebrated in any form. We should celebrate healthy black sexuality without being quick to judge, isolate and label.

This is a particularly deceptive form of sexism because it is deeply intertwined with the struggle black women have fought internally and externally about presenting and what we as a groups/individuals gain or loose with certain presentations. Here is the gotcha tho, we would gain a lot more by fiercely defending the decisions of our sisters. Brick by Brick the walls come down.